Hey, Remember When Britney Was Good?
Posted by Anton S. Trees in Britney Spears, MP3, Pop, Trainwrecks, When They Were Good
It’s kind of difficult to remember. Even when she releases a half-decent single like Piece Of Me, you can’t help but think of that busted fiveheaded chinless blob, jabbering in an English accent, or smacking gum against her mouth, or looking like an extra from Alien Nation, stabbing a car with an umbrella.
(Have you noticed how many iconic images Britney has given us? Kissing Madonna, the schoolgirl outfit, the ridiculous red rubber suit, the baby on the lap as she drives off, the weave-sporting mess dancing like a Minnesota drunk at the Grammy’s, the post-Caesarian vagina. And yes, there’s an Arts graduate writing a feminism-centric post-structuralist thesis on this right now).
Remember when she brought the heat? Boys was ridiculous, and so was Slave 4 U. Yes, a lot of the credit has to go to Pharrell and Chad for those scorchers, but it was the slow, calculated transformation of Britney from virgin to whore (is that you, Susan Faludi?) that made the great beats all the more compelling.
MP3: Britney Spears - “Slave 4 U” (from Britney, 2001).
There was Toxic, written by anonymous Eurogeeks, and wonderful, full of urgent synth strings, and promoted with a kitschy film clip that cost two million dollars (seriously! Was the catering really good on set? Where did the money go?) and boasted New Zealand’s moderately famous Martin Henderson (oh, that’s where the money went). It represents the zenith of the Spears trajectory, marking the exact point when magazines, the music industry, and the punters said ‘we can’t get enough of you, Britney.’
MP3: Britney Spears - “Toxic” (from In The Zone, 2003).
There’s no doubt it’s over for Britney. She’s entered the Jackson Zone; that terrible place where you can get your life on track, release great singles, donate the profits to charity, and the public still won’t be able to forget. All they’ll think about is a melting nose, a bald head, a dangling baby, and an exposed vagina.
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i agree with alot of what you wrote; the last 5 years for britney have really been disastrous…
and on a technical side note, it’s not the “vagina” that you can see, it’s the vulva. The paparazzi and everyone else didn’t see inside her (the vagina) but rather the outside of her nether regions (the vulva/labia.)
I’m down with the vulva/vagina distinction. Vagina is just a much better word, isn’t it?
I willingly admit to owning the first three Britney records. I don’t listen to them anymore, but there are a few really great pop songs found on them.
Plus, I throw my vote behind “vagina” as the catch-all term for the female genitalia. It’s a much more fun word.
Hey! Minnesota drunks dance better than that!
How about vulvitos and red bull.
I just woke up, sorry.
Gimme more giimme more, best stripper song ever (and it’s just me thats stripping!)